I hate being mentally ill, relying on meds to keep me sane and thus relying on insurance to pay for those meds. I have to work because that's the insurance I have through the county. Working disabled.

I have limits with SSDI I try very hard to stay within. Not always successful honestly and I will suffer for it. The joy of my job is it can turn full time if they kick me off disability, and I'm not sure but I think cause of work I have a ticking clock with SSDI.

I hoard meds cause I fear running out. I will lose everything I've tried to build if I suffer another break. At least my apt is subsidized so worse case I lose my job my rent goes down but I have debt that's another reason I'm still working. plan to cut up credit cards eventually. Just keep it to two.

Also, I get so bored I need to work. idle minds.