Dear T,

Thank you. For finally, finally, hearing me. I felt like I was sitting on the rooftop, screaming at the top of my lungs, ready to jump but you heard me, and the silent space that you provided helped me to calm the series of explosions that have been going off inside me for the last couple of weeks.

I really meant what I said. I don't for one second underestimate how difficult this must be for you, when I give so few clues about what is happening for me, but you also really really got this wrong.

I was a little surprised that you didn't apologise, but honestly, silence was needed, not words. Just to hear and to invite. And when you said "I think you have reminded me" when I offered you the book back, saying I think you could do with revisiting it, was enough apology for me.

Thank you for saying that you just want to help. Thank you for saying that it really is ok to need gentleness, warmth and understanding. Thank you for asking me what you can do that might make it easier and thank you for saying that it is always ok for me to tell you if what you are doing isn't helpful. Knowing I can just write the words "more gentle" is good, and I hope it will be a way for me to let you know.

Thank you, T, I will be back next week.