Thank you, everyone. Very helpful--your aid in interpreting "stay present." (And thanks to MissC for bumping the thread's post count up. )

The meeting is over and the outcome was GREAT!

I didn't take Xanax even though I was very anxious as I was afraid it would make me more passive and diminish my power (not sure if that is true, but it worried me). I felt like I wanted to be as powerful as possible at this meeting.

I did not have trouble staying present, at least I don't think I did. And I communicated a lot of stuff to H successfully, although I was clearly upset at times. But I think I communicated that I am not a pushover and that the way we approach these problems makes a big difference in our progress.

T brought a huge armload of flowers from his garden and two vases for us. He used them as an icebreaker activity to get things going and start us off on the right foot. We each got to take some of his lovely flowers home. So right now I have flowers from T sitting on my kitchen table. I imagine him getting up early this morning, prowling his yard, and snipping flowers here and there, with us in mind.



Anyway, the outcome today was great. We were at an impasse on one particular topic that was hanging us up, and today we finally came to agreement on it. Hallelujah!! This should make the rest go more smoothly.

It's so helpful to be able to post here and get support and advice.