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There's something wrong with your spouse's attachment. He may have severe anxiety and insecure attachment. In the absence of You, he quickly finds a surrogate. He could also be so full of self loathing that he's convinced you don't want him, so he directs his attention somewhere else. But porn and prostitutes are a fake ego boost. When he's face to face with you, he's ashamed, defensive, and has an attitude towards you because you have real relationship expectations of him, not the fantasy he lives when he's away.
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