To answer your question, a person can engage in toxic behaviors even when they are not actively consuming alcohol. This is called dry drunk behavior.

You sound like you have developed ptsd from dealing with such an unbalanced and unpredictable person. Yes! Alcoholics and addicts can get very mean and can get physical. Alcoholics can black out where they do not remember what they did while drunk.

People that develop alcohol addictions can have ADHD and Bipolar and ptsd and also have personality disorders. It’s common that they choose vodka thinking they won’t smell like booze and they even carry a flask in their purse often full of vodka they nip on at work.

I believe you! I believe you feel helpless and lost and alone. I have personally felt it myself. This is nothing you can fix. People die of alcoholism often in their fifties, some die younger.

The person they are most dishonest with is themselves.

Have you tried to attend any Alanon meetings? Often you can not only find support but people that know about resources you probably don’t know about.