Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
It’s very nice of you to try to be understanding and patient. Please know that ptsd is just as confusing for the person suffering from it. There is no cure, it takes time for the person struggling to figure out their triggers and learn how to manage the way they react when they are triggered.
It takes time to find the right medications that help. Alcohol consumption isn’t really good for those struggling with ptsd. Yet those who drink are trying to escape the anxiety that can build up with ptsd. The desire is to numb self is the goal.
I am wondering what in her life has triggered her to develop these ptsd symptoms.
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Thank you for that,I try and I would do anything for her . I know her struggle is very real and I love her with all my heart and soul.. She refuses to go to a doctor (see below) and says because of that, meds are not an option.
She is the victim of severe long term childhood physical and sexual abuse by family members, which went on for over 10 years most of which she blocked out for the first 20 years or so we were together, She knew it had happened but had suppressed almost all of the details. When she was 12 someone alerted social services and they intervened and took her and her siblings into foster care which I am sure saved her life .
She has been working through her therapy to deal with it and that presented it's challenges but nothing like what happened last year.
Shortly before things started to become the way they have , she went to a female stuff doctor visit and experienced a flashback while being examined as the covid protocol of wearing a mask during this type of very personal exam triggered a flashback to being assaulted having her assailant hold their hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. It's truly awful and I feel for her so much. Since then she has stated that she would rather die then go back to see any doctor. It set her back huge in her healing and she has been trying to work through it through her therapy.
Her therapy is done via zoom so she is able to do that ok but her therapist is only a social worker and can not prescribe meds. I do feel they would help her but that dog won't hunt in light of the issues going to see doctors.
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Nothing has been the same since that and she has grown more and more distant ever since . I have tried to be understanding and work with any and every thing she asks of me but it seems like it's never good enough and she just keeps moving the goalposts.
Everything in our struggles of late is blamed on me pretty much. Sometimes I wonder if this is because all her assailants are dead so I become the target for her anger at them and what happened.
I do feel like many would have given up by now dealing with such a challenge . I am unwilling to do that as I love her and if this stuff does not fit the "in sickness and in health" I don't know what does and I will keep trying but if in the end she just decides she wants to go thru with the divorce there is nothing I can do other then feel like I have failed at the one thing in my life that means the most to me .