i wont engage him. staying resolute. i dont need to defend myself to him, or say anything for the record, or ask him if he is okay. I dont need to lash back at him either. for all the nasty things hes said to me, i dont think ive really said anything nasty to him? i think ive always been careful of his feelings. walking on egg shells. the worst ive done is tell him the truth--that his behavior is harmful to himself and our family, and i asked him to address it.

thanks open eyes. it felt like projecting and blaming. as his texts rolled in, i was thinking he makes me his scapegoat.

hes reckless. he could have electrocuted us all with his bathroom plans he was working on almost up until the day he left. yet he thought on some level that his plan was working. he thought hed make his family shut up by fixing the bathroom. in his quick fix he could have killed us. i asked him to sober up, get help, get on track, and his answer was to "fix" the bathroom. he tore apart the bathroom right before his breakdown five or six years ago. he thought fixing it was the way to repair his breakdown. i didnt believe that, he did. the bathroom has been torn apart for years. still is. he didnt want me doing anything about it. he didnt want anyone else fixing it. he controlled it like it was synonymous with his mental health and behavior.

he is not ready to do the trauma work. he couldnt do it around our family, too dangerous for us all.

i dont know whats next for him. things will likely get worse. im thinking of selling some personal property and sending him half the money.

he threw his little tantrum on the text and i guess im still thinking how to make him feel better.