Dear Tisha, and anyone else who might find this pertinent:

Emotional abuse, over years, IMO, is as bad as any other form of abuse, and more insidious. It erodes self confidence, and, left too long, can zap a person's self esteem right into the dust. Physical and outright verbal abuse are bad, too, don't get me wrong. But at least those are nameable, and quantifiable. Emotional abuse is just as evil, and that's partly because it's harder to identify with certainty, and much harder for us to accept it's actually being done to us. It is often committed by the very people we lean on for support and comfort. It's a betrayal of the worst order.

It took me years, literally, to finally realize what was being done to me very coldly and callously by several people in my life. It's no wonder I developed a very bad case of major depression, as well as generalized anxiety disorder. And it's taken me several years to find the right resources to help myself heal from the damage done.

Healing doesn't happen overnight. Little lightbulbs seem to keep going on over my head, the farther I am away from the abusers. I am getting stronger, but it feels like it's at a glacial pace to me. I only feel I've recovered minute, tentative aspects of my former self.

Whatever is responsible for your husband's poor communication skills, and the subsequent way it makes you feel, you have every right to continue to seek support, advice, and healing. From what you say, I feel it might be a combination of things---not just one cause. His attitude, in general, comes across as suspicious, and not genuinely interested in helping you to understand where he's coming from. That's far from ideal, at the very least.

You'll have to do some more educating yourself about emotional abusers and how they truly operate, before you can make the call.

When Is It Emotional Abuse? | Psychology Today Canada