I had a horrible dream that I was in the hospital again and RS was furious with me. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that CR was so sad and he said I wasn’t there for him and I didn’t save him while he was sick. It really shook me, I don’t want him to ever feel like that. I don’t want to be locked away from him ever again.

Luckily it made me more determined to make safe choices so I can be there for him instead of rotting in some hospital bed.

I seem to have gotten through the worst of this episode because though the SH thoughts are there they are more in the background. I was more active today. We went to the fire and ice festival at a cute little shopping village. It was nice because these past two days have been arctic, low twenties. Today it’s still brisk but the sun is beaming and if you’re wrapped up it’s very nice. We walked around a bit with CR, he’s feeling much better today. He doesn’t generally like walking around shops but I promised him food from a food truck haha. We got a deluxe grilled cheese on Texas toast with some tater tots. Delicious.

I think the sunshine did me good. It’s supposed to be almost springlike this week again so I’ll probably take some walks after work. Hopefully I’ll continue to feel better.