I gave blood on Friday. It was a little upsetting what happened. I've been eating. I wasn't dehydrated. I still developed some heart problems from giving blood. It wasn't anxiety. I
should have known better after last time, but figured to hell with it. It's a good
cause. I hoped things would be different this time because I have been eating more
recently and I shouldn't have been dehydrated as last time. But it still happened.
I am still having problems, but it's getting better. I've used a lot of the propranolol
tabs. It's not easy at the gym either. I have to really watch myself there. I
couldn't go as often while working and going to school. One of these days they
will call an ambulance for me. There have been enough times in the past when it
should have been done. I'm too stubborn to say anything. So what if a person has
chest pain, palps, pain the neck, jaw, shoulder, nauseaous, or maybe even at worst,
a numb and tingly arm and leg? Right. I'm still alive. I try to watch and pace
myself. And then I think, what if my eating habits have gone too far at times and
for too long? Why can't a person live however they want without risk? I know my
eating habits are a bit of a coping mechanism for me. I have been trying to eat
more since October. I have, at least half the time if not more, I think. I do
think more? I'm pretty sure? I may eat, but I will still think those thoughts.
Makes for more stress not knowing what to do. This heart stuff only happens when my body is under physical stress, like working out. Or if I am in a phase that I don't eat. But I am much better!