Sounds like you are finally experiencing the real person in your wife.

I really think you need to have a way to record these conversations. Save the texts. Your sons should save their conversations too. Your wife has no right to bully you or harass you.

I’m sorry, I went through this with my older sister the last years of my parents lives. Actually I had a conversation about you with my husband who has been sober for 32 years and is very active in AA helping other alcoholics get sober. My husband reminded me of how my sister drank a lot and how he felt she was either still drinking or was a dry drunk.

People can have a very selfish cruel side to them that can come out in shocking ways.

I’m sorry, you are going to have to learn how to set up boundaries. I think if you can ask the friend you have that’s was a family lawyer if there is a way your sons have rights where they don’t have to stay with her. You don’t want them traumatized.