Um... first of all, DELAY having a baby with this man. Secondly, RED FLAGS all around. I wouldn't trust him either, after what you found out. He is either gay, or is trans himself, or something is up along those lines! Even so, flirtatious messages with a stripper are unacceptable (in my humble opinion) in a marriage & a committed relationship. I would honestly pull the plug on the marriage NOW, before it's too late, and before you are in too deep. There's too many red flags happening, all pointing to secretive, cheating behavior and also financial irresponsibility. Do you really want the father of your children to be this way? And do you need someone who can't even pay their own bills? I had that with my own husband, whom I am now divorcing, and his lack of financial responsibility created a lot of unnecessary stress for me, because I had to constantly cover his bills when he was in between pay checks. Financial irresponsibility alone is a huge red flag. So I would seriously reconsider this marriage of yours, consider getting out now and I would definitely not have children with him.

And sorry you're going through this! How disappointing for you... I'm so sorry!