It’s very confusing when dealing with a person that is prone to addiction. Your wife used alcohol daily to help her function. Then she found these women who have skewed this me too mindset to a point where every guy is a bad guy and “ we are the victim”. So this mindset becomes another addiction where your wife spends time being fed anger and she begins using this anger not only towards you but also her two sons. Yet, she is also continuing to consume alcohol but may be binging instead of drinking through the day.

When you grow up with an alcoholic parent the disease becomes normalized where you accept it as part of your environment you ignore and this happens a lot sadly. Society had actually normalized alcohol consumption to a point where alcoholism was rampid and people were able to deny they had a problem.

Part of your feeling uncomfortable talking about what your wife behaves like comes from very early conditioning that is put in place when a parent is an alcoholic. Your being used to making up for it by cooking and cleaning and paying the bills comes from having to do that growing up.

Now a person can sit and watch YouTube and access information and support online. This is all fairly new, I did not have any of this when I was young. It’s important to take time and learn about what alcoholism really is. You are not really up to speed on that.

I don’t think you are addicted to the highs and lows of your wife’s condition. I think you just learned how to numb yourself and just wanted the person you fell in love with. That person never really existed and you are starting to see the reality.

I had a friend that I liked very much that got so bad that her two sons had to be protected from her and her husband kept the home for his two sons. This is so hard on children yet if your sons are afraid of your wife they should not be forced to visit or stay with her.

Do not give your wife power. She will throw tantrums and demand and she has these women feeding her with their hate that is making it worse, so much so that she takes it out on your sons.

You had three nice days with your two sons while your wife was away. Then she came home and punished all of you. You deserve to have peace and your sons deserve to feel safe. If they don’t want to be around your wife they should not be forced.