I can explain my life with my family of origin in one sentence. I was a mom to my mother,father,siblings,guests,extended family and so on.And I was in an abusive scapegoating situation all the while.There was no childhood for me ,so to speak.I was a born adult and much was expected of me.It looks like I continued to be an adult ,but broken inside,carry immense grief inside.I have been reading a lot too and slowly have been healing.There is a sense of loss.A loss of the relationships I never had.I feel like an orphan and alone.If that made any sense.