Do you mean physically or emotionally?

Physical is hard to do right now as we live in the same house and I will not be driven out of my house by her stuff. Emotionally isn't much better as I'm still very much in love with her .

The comment about how she hates herself because she has become "me" really sounded like an abuser saying "look what you made me do " after they realize what they have done but won't accept accountability for it. It hurt a lot .

If this is going to fail which I won't know the outcome on for a couples months, then . I need to decide if I want to keep this place .
If I'm not then I don't wish to leave until I have bought my new place which can't happen until she gets $ to buy me out, that she doesn't have unless she pulls an equity loan which will probably lead to her defaulting on it as she won't have my help with the bills . I don't think she has a grasp on the logistics financially and hasn't really thought it through .
Leaving usually hurts the one who leaves in divorce proceedings I have heard.

That being said I work local to the house ...her work is virtual and could be from anywhere.

My closet friend has been trying keep me sane and he's telling me this isn't my fault and even if she and I work it out I'll always be waiting for it to happen again and how that's not fair to me and how I deserve happiness.

Therapy coming up , gonna be a tough session.