I'm scared I might have some PTSD symptoms.

Every interaction with her stirs me into a panic. Maybe it is just a lifetime of codependency, and trying to make someone else happy so I can have peace.

Yes, you are all correct. I can't do anything until I speak to a lawyer.

That will be slow. Maybe years slow.

Today I texted her that I was looking for a lawyer, and that a kid was sick. She replied "thanks for telling me".

I've been physically sick since reading that.

I'm wondering if she's angry and how I can appease her. I'm sick because I can't.

She isn't very reasonable. When angry she's vicious. Once this gets stretched out in duration and she feels the pressure, she's going to be vicious. I'm ready to gamble my financial future to keep from experiencing that.

And, I'm scared that once she becomes vicious, it will remove any possibility of a reasonable support payment, or a reasonable future interaction. She'll fight everything every way.

RDM