Ex-ex-T made contact today, after 3 years.

I missed her call as I was on a zoom meeting. But I really wasn't expecting it, and especially not by phone, it totally threw me seeing her name on the screen. I thought if she contacted me at all it would be by email. Whilst part of me hoped she'd get in touch, I don't think I really believed that she would. Now that she has, part of me is pleased she kept her word - and the other half wonders if it's because new business is slow... How messed up is that thinking?!

Now I don't know what to do. I just started another set of 6 sessions with current-T. I can't see them both, so I need to decide. Ex-ex-T doesn't charge as much, lives less than 3 miles away and saw me through 4 years of hell. Current-T charges more, lives nearly 30 miles away so we work online most of the time, and I've had mixed feelings about it for much of the time we've been working together.

Seems like a no-brainer. However....
Ex-ex-T did end our therapy relationship abruptly and without warning, via text message. That makes trusting her again kind of hard. Prior to that, she'd never given me any reason not to trust her.

Is it ever a good idea to go back? I know I won't know unless I decide to take the plunge and have at least one session with her, if only to see what it's like. To see if that gut feeling tells me something. I'm thinking if I don't, then I'll always be wondering. However, I would find it very difficult to finish with current-T, especially as we're nowhere near done and she'd think it rather strange if I just stopped sessions without any real reason. I'd also feel bad about treating her so shabbily. She doesn't deserve that.
Arghh!!!

Any words of wisdom, for either argument, would be more than welcome at the moment!

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