I'm sorry, @
Mrtulip, I don't have the education or experience to be able to answer your questions. But I feel bad/sad that your life is so frustrating. I hope you will be able to find a person or people who can help with all of this soon.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)
"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)
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