Hi BabyG,

I'm just a newbie, but I can understand how you feel. I've had a lot of tough losses in my life, and I know how much it hurts when those who should love you don't meet your needs.

My mom passed away almost three years ago, and I miss her dearly. My dad is slowly becoming senile, and is increasingly overcome with apathy. My friends from college have been ignoring me, and my friends at home--where I'm stuck fot the summer--just get high all the time. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so miserable.

Regarding SI, I used to SI incessantly, but I've broken the habit... mostly. If you don't mind, I'd like to offer you some advice. One of the best ways of putting off urges is through the fifteen minute game (incidentally, this works for smoking urges as well). If you feel the need to SI, tell yourself to wait fifteen minutes. Tell yourself that if you still feel like hurting yourself in fifteen minutes, you can (I'm not in any way condoning SI; the delay will usually lessen the urge. If it doesn't, try doing it again). Another way is to substitute a safe, nonpermanent intense sensation for the pain you feel when you SI: ice cube on the wrist, eating a hot pepper, etc. Just nothing that will do actual damage to your body.

I hope this helps. Please feel better soon, and know that, even if certain people may not care for you as much as you need them to, we all care for you very much! Treat yourself with the love you deserve!!

(((((BabyG))))

Best wishes,
J