I’m so-so. My job has become very overstimulating and I lose my patience pretty quickly. We have a new boy who has never been in school before (he’s in second grade technically). He is also nonverbal so he only communicates in screeches and screams. Plus he’s HUGE, so he’s very rough without mean to be. When he doesn’t get his way he screams and bangs things. Also as a reward we let all the kids watch (appropriate) YouTube at the end of the day and it’s different videos playing at top volume and I can’t. By the end of the day I need to sit in silence for awhile to regroup. It’s not his fault at all but still. It’s only 10am and I’m already over it. Then again I was over it when I woke up.

I’m still depressed but not as bad. I’ve only been on the Wellbutrin for two weeks though so I’m determined to give it time. Plus I’m on the lowest dose to start and I am definitely doing better. The self harm thoughts are still there but not as intrusive. Still having SI but again, I’m able to immediately counteract because I know I don’t really want to do it.

I lost my propranolol for a week and I got so anxious last night I had to take Xanax. I didn’t tell my APN I was taking the propranolol again, she already thinks I’m taking too mych medication. To be fair she’s kinda right, I’m on five different ones with the propranolol. I’m going if the Wellbutrin works the anxiety will get better AND I’ll be able to reduce the amount of lamictal. Lamictal was my AD so if Wellbutrin work I might not need it. That’s one you have to come off very slowly anyway so it’s worth a shot if I can get back on an even keel with Wellbutrin. I’d try near summer though so if it makes things worse I don’t have work to try to slog through.