So, I've been talking about a time ten years ago that affected how I approach people and my over all comfort with that. What I realized I learnt is two things I have control over how deep I am with a person and when, if there's anything I'd do differently is I'd take more time to get to know the person before I wholeheartedly give my trust. I didn't think I learnt anything from that situation but I realize I have I also broke free from a lot of self destructive behaviours and bad friendships. So it's not entirely all bad, I realize that I am in a much better place now with much better friendships and better ways of communicating. I am much more able to regulate my emotions and talk about my feelings as with ten years ago I wasn't. I feel hopeful now that the fear of talking to people won't be carried with me forever and I realise now the healthy level of give and take in any kind of relationship.