I think if I saw this as “his is his and mine is mine and it’s firmly 50/50” I’d not be married. I’d just have a boyfriend.

You can keep bank account separate (we have separate accounts) but marriage is a union of two. Not just living under one roof. If event happened during marriage, it’s a marital event. It affects both. One spouse not paying medical bill and bills going on collection affects a couple if they are legally married. If it effects your credit score it effects your (as a couple) ability to qualify for a nicer apartment, buying a house, financing anything, every aspect of your life as a married couple. If my husband went on collection it would cause us bunch of problems! Us as a couple

And how is it “only my problem” if I got sick and couldn’t pay a bill. If my husband had to go to ER, I’d not see it as “his problem and he has to deal with it”. It’s OUR problem!

I am not saying you have to ask him for 900. I am just saying that if he all of a sudden can come up with 900 and is offering it NOW where was he when bills went on collection? If he wants to help out, that’s where money could go to. He offered it. You didn’t ask

You did so much for this man including extravagant unnecessary costly things. Half of that stupid chair could go to pay medical bills. Why did he accept the gift if he knew you owe money? Starting with a day one, extravagant honeymoon on your dime. And same happened with other men before this one. You go over board for these men! I understand you makes you feel like crap asking for anything because you got used to bending backwards for men. If you are always a giver, it feels bad to ask for anything. But you can’t continue being “a woman who loves too much”.

And I get it! I was that woman! That’s why I urge you to stop. We are too old for this. Block him. Stop all this. Start a new life. Struggle but come out of it like everyone does at some point.