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Old Feb 11, 2023, 08:49 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
I feel so terrible. My skin literally feels like it’s crawling. I want to SH so badly. I’m ready to do something I shouldn’t just to go sleep and I honestly don’t care if I wake up, except I have to because I can’t leave CR by himself. I’m actually resentful right now of CR and RS because if they weren’t in my life then I could go for it. I know that’s just horrible to think and to say.

I know it will end because this is all cyclical but I know it just hurts so bad in the moment it’s hard to think forward. And I was feeling better but now I’m back in this hole. It was a tease. I don’t want to go IP because nothing changes IP. There’s nothing they can do. The only thing I can do is do ECT. It’s done outpatient too but I can’t because no one can take me to and from.

I do not care about not hurting myself at the moment. Everyone else does, not me. I’m only staying free for them. I would do it in a heartbeat and I might anyway. What’s the difference anyway. Who cares.

Whatever. I’m just having a bad night.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Rosi700
Thanks for this!
Rosi700