@black-roses I am sorry that you feel shame or guilt from past actions. Sometimes the way people act and speak towards us reinforces those feelings.
I have made many mistakes that I regret. I have made the determination not to repeat those again. I cannot change the past so I let go of it. Sometimes friends and family are not ready or willing to let bygones be bygones. I am not sure what they get out of holding onto grudges, but I am trying to stop being resentful of others because it makes me feel horrible.
I an not sure about forgiving or getting others to accept me. The only thing that has worked for me so far is not reacting as much to that person and letting go of the inner critic that is always beating me up with guilt trips. I try to ignore the inner critic or state what I think is a fair assessment of the situation. "I am doing the best I can and that is all I can do."
There are some people who I will never meet their expectations. When dad died I had to let go of that struggle for their acceptance. I have used gratitude as a way to heal the rift in my mind that I could never do while he was alive. I stopped blaming him and blaming myself. We all did the best we could.
There are no easy ways through this but I keep trying to not react and get in arguments with people. No one ever wins those. Hope you find a way to be gentler with yourself. You are a very creative person with all your poetry. Hope you keep finding ways to express yourself.
@CANDC
__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
"Things Take Time"
|