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*Beth* · Feb 12, 2023, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

....
This is the question I'm wondering about:
5. Do you have experience working with clients who develop some form of transference for you? Is this something you feel comfortable with?

I'm not sure of the best way to word that question. Or if I should open it with "I have a tendency to develop transference for/become attached to my therapists."

Thoughts on whether to ask that? Or better ways to word it? I know there's a chance they could say "Transference happens in all relationships," which wouldn't really give me an answer.

(What I really want to ask is "Are you going to get all weird if I eventually develop platonic love feelings for you?" but I feel that would just scare them off.)

Thanks!

What a thoughtful post, LT. Your questions - every one of them - are excellent, in my opinion. #5 is so important, and is surely a question many clients would like to ask a potential t. I know I sure would.

I love the honesty, the self-awareness, of the way you've phrased your thought in the parentheses, but yes...I suppose it may scare them off - or, worse, invite a weirdo with a huge ego.

I understand how you feel and why you're asking. And yes, for sure - ask. If the person comes back with a standard, "Everyone develops..." -I'd press on a bit with a further exploration of the question, because it's such an important one.

Of course, what I would not want to do is (as you mentioned) scare them off, thinking they have a potential stalker asking to be a client. I'm wondering if you can give a little bit of a reason as to why you're asking the question.

So: "In my experience I have developed strong attachments to my therapists. I'm wondering if that's something you have experience with, because..."

And give an idea of a reason as to why you're asking the question.

I hope this makes sense.