It began much before and obviously got worse after infidelity. Life got better of over the years. Tried to bring up this aspect several times over the years but no heed was paid it until it kept getting repressed and finally burst out in the form of infidelity. We have tried all kinds of couples therapy to no avail. We can separate although not legally as there is a legal need for us to stay married that decides our future in this country . Our current finances won’t let separate unofficially.