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*Beth* it’s not a dumb idea, don’t worry. It’s a pretty common suggestion actually. So is snapping a rubber band on your wrist or holding ice. The red marker and rubber bands don’t work for me but the ice has and is usually my go to, it’s just not helping in this particular episode. But I appreciate the suggestion and support. As for ECT it’s a very last resort. It would be hard to coordinate without going IP because no one could drive me, everyone works. There is an idea in my head that’s rather complicated that involves me sleeping at my grandmas place on ECT nights and having her take me and pick me up in the morning so I’d only be away from my family short times, but we’d have to see. Like I said, it’s a very last resort.
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BeyondtheRainbow you’re right, I was on Emsam/invega combo and it did work well. I can’t use invega anymore, that’s what contributed to my initial weight gain (that I’ve never lost). But Emsam was the other suggestion I had for my APN. I’m going to try to convince her to let me try it again. I’m not sure how she’ll feel about it, she might be resistant to prescribing an MAOI.
In any case I know Wellbutrin take 4-6 weeks to work but I’m not sure I can wait that long, especially with these intrusive thoughts and despair. And I’m on the lowest dose, if I have to go up on it there’s another 4-6 weeks. I might feel better in the spring, this could be my regular winter depression. There’s not much time left before spring plus we’re getting spring like temperatures quite often. Today should be quite nice. Maybe it will cheer me up.
Since my old pdoc retired the two APNs at the practice I use have taken on her patients so now I can’t see mine until mid March. I might call and see if I can get on the cancellation list. I’m not sure I can hang on until March 16.