Just hoping for some input on something I experienced today for the first time in over six years of therapy. My T said something, though neither of us can remember exactly what, it was something about me talking about things, that just caused the strangest reaction from me. My whole body tensed up, feet, legs, bum, shoulders, arms went in the air and the words 'f*** off' came out of my mouth, almost strangled though. I'd been thinking those words for the last half hour, and I often do when dealing with this stuff, but never in a million years would I have said it like I truly meant it, like that.

As soon as I had said it, I turned right away, and felt remorse. Said I was sorry, and slowly but surely tried to relax of the tensed muscles.

But it's left me feeling really unnerved. T said it didn't sound like me when I said it, and it didn't feel like me, either, though I know it was.

Anyone felt or experienced a reaction like that before? Is it more normal than it feels? Maybe it's just those hidden parts of me finally feeling a tiny bit safer and that they can be seen?