I talked to my therapist today about my treatment options. Wait for Wellbutrin to maybe work, go off completely for two weeks so I can start Emsam, or do ECT. All bad options. I cannot possibly go on like this. I barely ate dinner, I haven’t gotten out of bed except for dinner since I got home, work was a total nightmare and I can’t keep going.

I see no relief anywhere, the only thing I know will definitely work is ECT. So that’s where I’m leaning. I’m going to call my usual ECT hospital and talk to them tomorrow, maybe see if I can get an appointment to discuss it. I can’t keep doing this. I will do something I don’t really want to do. I honestly should tell RS to hold my meds because it’s becoming dangerous to have them accessible.

I am going to take at least a half personal day tomorrow. If I know I can leave early I’m more likely to go.