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Old Feb 15, 2023, 11:01 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,048
Quote:
Originally Posted by wheeler View Post
I was seeing a T that I really didn’t click with so I decided to look for another T, which is very difficult. I kept seeing T1 thinking she was better than not having any support. But after an initial consult, with whom I didn’t match up with, I felt like I was ‘cheating’ on my current T, so I told her that I was looking for a new T. She was really good about it and she knew I wasn’t happy about how my therapy was going. I was relieved and could process what I experienced as I looked at other T’s. In the end someone she had recommended worked for me.

I'm glad she was supportive of your search and that you found someone who works for you! I understand what you mean that you felt like you were "cheating" on her.

I know my T has said before that he's fine with me consulting with someone else, whether a one-time thing or to take a break and then return. But he prefers to know about it. And I did consult with people a couple times (told him after the fact once or twice and before the fact another time).

So now I'm wondering if I should tell him I am seeing someone else Tuesday or wait until after I see her? I know I'm not required to tell him, but it occurs to me that it could make things worse between us if I tell him after the fact. I mean, he probably suspects I'm looking around, as I'd mentioned Friday that I wondered if I needed to see someone else.

Maybe I'll see how things go Friday (assuming I keep that session), then I could choose to tell him Monday, as I see the new T Tuesday. So it would still be telling him in advance. Or I just don't say anything until I'm sure about what I want to do...
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