I will never forget this incident in therapy. I always need a fidget thing and I was experimenting with different gadgets. I bought this squishy thing that you squeeze and it bubbles out. Well I squeezed it and it exploded all over his shirt, face, new chair and rug. OMG we both froze for what felt like an eternity. I am sure he was trying to figure out how not to show disappointment or frustration. He got up and got paper towels and we cleaned up what we could. Somehow there were not stains on anything the following week when I came back. I did email him offering to help pay for any professional cleaning. I now just hold polished rocks. Those are safe.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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