I keep thinking what's wrong with me is what my current family says is wrong. You're causing drama. You're mentally unwell.

And I should be over this. Then they say and do things that makes me feel like they're forcing me to deny my whole reality which isn't right.

Sometimes things are really good with my whole family and everyone seems normal, happy, and kind, and even empathetic. And I think it's just me. and just my brother, but they seem to give a **** about my brother over me.

So it's me. And I am separated from the others. The others are fed a narrative about me and why I should not be trusted.

And what I could say will shatter their version of reality.

If I explained I was abused; physically, emotionally, and even Neglected. If I said the truth of why I am never allowed to see them. That so many lies were told to keep me alone; I don't know what would happen. I guess I am drama stirring. But my brain is starting to question, how my isolation by them was often intentional and to deliberately keep me out of their good graces.

Maybe something inside my brain is just making this up. I don't feel like I am being told the official story by my family. That the things I am told are intentional and twisted. Maybe it's to hide me, or something; and they feel justified because I am not pretty like they'd hope I turn out. I don't have a husband or kids. I don't bring anything to the table to them.

And they see it as a failure in myself. They think I am a liar just like my mother, and when I say she hurt me as well, it's easily seen as a lie too.

I am not sure which way is up right now,