Starbright…
Why are you here?
People normally don’t show up in places like this by accident.
I don’t know you from Adam, but a blind man could see pain all over your post.

There is a part of my mind that thinks up all kinds of excuses for my sorry behavior, and there is another insane part of my mind that buys all that crap.

You’re not here by mistake.

There is another part of my mind that knew that all my excuses were just what they were, bulls***. I got a feeling there is that same part of your mind telling you the same thing.
Pull the plug on yourself now or pull the plug on yourself later, the only thing I know for sure is it ain’t never gonna get any better than it is right now. Over any length of time, it just gets harder and harder. And from what I read, it don’t sound like it’s much fun right now.

There are a lot of supportive voices here, and they will offer you words of comfort. And God bless them for it. But I’m here to tell you that you are in deeper doo doo than even you believe.

Again Starbright you are not here by mistake.

Richard S.