Ziggy,

I am so sorry about you're mother, and I do understand how hard it must be on you, believe me, as you already know.

I have not experienced the loss of my parents, but I go through this everyday,with my sister. I think that being a caregiver to a family member is the hardest and most precious gift that a person can do if and whenever possible.

When I worked in the hospital, most of my favorite patients were old and had COPD Dementia and even alzheimers. I just wanted to stay with them or take them home with me; especially the ones that had family that never visited.
People need their families, at least I think so especially in a time like this.
I give you the utmost respect and credit for just being there with your Mom.

I have to say though that your Mom may be feeling all kinds of things right now. even though she forgets. I bet the most important thing she has on her mind is you, and her love for you and how proud of you she really is. Inside no matter what illness a person has, they know this but maybe cannot communicate it. Most importantly, she knows how much you love her by all of your actions.

I definately think that it is time for you to get some volunteere to visit with her, or an aide to help the both of you out. I am sure that your mother would want for you to have a life too. She may even be thinking that she may be a burden to you, even though you don't feel that way. What about maybe having a couple of people to visit her from the church? Your mother may seem uninterested, but there is always a way to someone's heart. I bet that there is someone besides you that can make her smile. A woman might be better in her case so that she can see that they may have similar things in their lives or pasts. Ever since I have gotten some help with my sister, I can now not feel guilty having some time for myself, and my sister loves the attention from others too.
I also know how hard it is to watch a family member's health declining everyday, like my sister. It is very sad, but I know that I am doing the best thing for her, by her being here until the end. What disturbs me the most is that she is only 52, and has struggled with cancer for the past 9 years, she never had a chance. So think about all that I have said, and maybe it will work for you, because you totally need some time for you!
You have friends, and I am here if you need me, and you know that already.
XOXOXOXOXOXOO Nina.