Maybe. My faith tells me that good and evil exist along with free will. I don’t believe the bad in the world is God’s cosmic plan. I do believe my faith gives me strength and discernment to make wise choices. But they ARE choices, and I can just as easily make poor decisions if I use God as my rationale for my bad choices. I am a person of strong faith, but with that faith comes responsibility.

I am hearing you slide into rationalizing your poor decision to go back to a man you have been describing as narcissistic, abusive, unfaithful, etc. You’re scared. I get that. I may get that more than most. But I don’t have a husband to help me. My husband died. I MUST figure life out on my own. What that has taught me is that I am stronger than I ever realized. I have gotten through the worst life could throw at me and found my own path.

You can choose to repeat your abusive and dysfunctional relationship with your husband to “solve” your temporary situation, OR, you can choose to find your own path and find solutions that will be your own. I believe you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

It’s time to give yourself some credit.