This could be a long message, so be warned.

I lost my grandmother in 2015, but since I had lost contact with her I didn't even find out until a year later through a Google search for her. It wasn't until even later when I found out what happened. Instead of taking her medications that would keep her going, she was hiding it and didn't want to take them. So she essentially just gave up. It was crushing, and I'm still not over it because she meant the world to me growing up. In 2018 my other grandmother died. I was going to talk with a girl I met online when I found out, it hurt me so much I pushed the girl away which I deeply regret to this day. That grandmother I used to stay with over the entire summer vacation almost every year as a kid, and her house was basically more home to me than my own home. She died from a blood clot due to the IV while in the hospital.

In 2021 while he was at work, my dad had a diabetic attack and was taken to the hospital. While there they found he had liver cancer. He was given 8 months to live, he only lasted about 8 weeks. Admittedly my relationship with him over the years wasn't always the best, but it was still painful to lose him. To this day, in my head I can still hear my mom saying "your dad's gone". A year later I find out my favorite uncle has cancer, he died on my birthday. We were so close, we did so much together when I was a kid. My birthdays were already hard to deal with, but now I don't think I can ever enjoy one again.

I miss you all so much. I know I'll never be the same again with you all gone, because it was as if pieces of me left with you. I never got to say a proper goodbye to any of you, and I never got to truly express my love when I had the chance. I hope I can see you all again soon.