I’m just saying desperation often leads us to make poor decisions. One thing I have had to learn to do is to slow myself down and think things through before making any decisions — even little ones. My brain has serious widow brain and everything is just harder. Not having that person to talk to and support me has put everything on me. That’s where you are too.(Please don’t assume my situation is easy because the option of choice is out of my hands. It isn’t. The difference is I hold all responsibility for my life and struggles now, including big and little life decisions.) That’s really true for you too. You have this opportunity for independence. 😂 That’s what I keep trying to tell myself anyway, and yeah, it can truly suck, but it’s a challenge I am willing to take on (even though it was forced on me as you say).

I understand the aloneness you are experiencing. I’ve had to find resources for support in places I have never looked before. You can do this, Hope. You have more strength and ability than you are giving yourself credit for. I’m glad you are being careful about your husband; just keep those boundaries healthy and don’t let your desperation place you in compromising positions.