Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
For me honestly the main reason to end this marriage and to not consider things like dating him or even be friends would be him flirting with a coworker and texting her that he hopes to see her in her dreams. Even if nothing more happened, this would be not something I’d ever move on from.
Other things might be forgivable depending on people’s tolerance level. Like some people argue and have lots of drama in their marriage. Not my cup of tea but I understand that husband or wife could be forgiven for tending to argue. And people could work on arguing less
Not this stuff. I’d always think he is doing it again and what women he likes now or maybe even worse. And knowing that he has bad boundaries with women in general, that text of his would kill it for me. I’d never trust him again
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I know - that is very difficult for me to get past... I tried to get past it when we got back together, and it worked for me for a while until he started telling me repeatedly that that happened because we "were in a bad place" and we "were having a bad time then". After hearing him say this on more than one occasion, it did not give me ANY confidence that it wouldn't happen again, if we were having a rough patch again, ya know? Instead, he should have been saying to me repeatedly, "I was in the wrong, and no matter WHAT troubles we are facing as a couple, I will NEVER do that again". But, he didn't say this to me. I could forgive and let go, if I truly believed it was a one-off and uncharacteristic of him. BUT, I do not know this, and therefore, I do not trust him.... I feel like it could happen again, if we're having a tough time again.
AND, when we were having a rough time again, in the last month before I kicked him out for the 2nd time, I became mistrustful, thinking he was going behind my back with other women. I was very concerned, and it is because we were having another rough patch.
It's not only that.... it's everything combined. It's the fact that he screamed at me for the first 2.5 years of marriage. Then, he cheats on me. Then, after we get back together, he breaks his promises yet again, that he made to ME, to God and to Jesus , that he would only treat me with love and respect AT ALL TIMES. Instead, what does he do???? He chooses to lay into me, repeatedly, for over a month, fighting with me and causing major disruption and stress in my life!
So, it's the WHOLE picture. And now, he wants me to believe that he's changed? I don't trust it... and I cannot live in a relationship where ultimately and deep down, I don't feel safe and where I mistrust the person.