Ptsd is a very confusing condition that even the person suffering doesn’t understand. This is not something that is your fault. Not unless you emotionally abused her. And from what you share it sounds like you faced some challenges that many face during a marriage.

Her saying she is broken is explaining how her ability to feel normal has changed. When someone develops PTSD changes take place in the brain. Some have it worse than others. Some begin using alcohol in an effort to escape the tiring symptoms. As I mentioned the use of alcohol only aggravates the ptsd adding another problem to the challenge.

Trauma can lay dormant in the brain often for years. Then a person can experience something that triggers flashbacks and fears and confusion that totally confuses the person experiencing it.

For example, years ago there was a gathering of WWII vets to honor their service. They sat and watched films of WWII that many had not seen. Many of these men had managed to come home from serving and adjust to civilian life having jobs and families and functioning normal. After these men attended this reunion they began having flashbacks and night terrors and were very confused as to why they began having all these unwanted ptsd symptoms after so many years symptom free.

Specialists do not know why so many began complaining. What happened in the brain? Men who were symptom free for 30 plus years suddenly struggling badly.

They are constantly studying ptsd and ways to help those who suffer. What the average person fails to understand is the symptoms are intrusive, a person is not choosing to experience these flashbacks.

Had I not experienced these episodes myself I too would not only not understand but would utter the very phrases that are not only no help but also contribute to added suffering. I am NOT the person I was before I developed ptsd myself.

Your wife has therapy sessions that provide her with a presence that allows her to talk things out as they surface. That doesn’t mean her condition is being cured. The best therapist I had helped me understand that when I experience a trigger causing me to have an episode that I had to learn just to wait it out. I did not hear any just ignore or let it go statements that insinuate I am responsible when that was not the case.

It’s a very tiring and frustrating challenge and the anger tends to be more about trying to manage it and the incredible amount of patience that takes.