So I was purging in the shower this morning at like 3am and my mom heard me and she said "belly not feeling good?" to which I said no. She sometimes hears me and I just say I have food sensitivities or whatever and I'll talk about it at my next physical (which is in 11 days).

I really do want to get better. I want to stop hiding all this shyt from my mom.

also I tried purging later on this morning and I just couldn't. All that came out was a little blood. I came up with a few possibilities why, but I think I just need to rest my stomach/my esophagus a bit. I'm challenging myself to go the rest of the weekend without binging/purging. Should be easy enough with my mom home and everything.