In regards to your mom's "friend"---I would tell her (the friend).......If you choose to speak to me disrespectfully we will not have a conversation." The friend will immediately argue that she is not being disrespectful, etc. Abusers will always deny the abuse. Your mom can then refuse to talk to her, unless she stops the abuse. Being verbally abused is like having rocks thrown at you, and we would never allow that.