Lunch was going well until mother "hijacked" the event.

My aunt and sister-in-law's mother also there, so a wider audience. First up was the friend across the road, every detail of the past 5 years of chats, including the topics. My sister-in-law didn't disappoint! Raised eyebrows in my direction frequently. Probably fuelled by the wine, she then picked up on mother playing the "victim". Particularly when mother moaning she's lonely. Main criticism was she never picks up phone to them or an elderly relative who also doesn't enjoy good health.

I headed for kitchen and started talking to my brother. First criticism of me was I'm exactly like our mother. "Peas in pod" was his description. Then I have no "shades of grey" when dealing with situations. Both comments wrong, shows how little he knows me. However, we did agree that some of the incidents were self-inflicted and he felt it was unfair that I should bear the brunt of others "mistakes". Conversation had to be cut short because mother was on the move (noisy walking stick signal!!). Brother taking mother to medical appointment today so will see if he repeats our conversation.

I'm not perfect although that's how mother portrays me, playing the victim. Although we've had our differences recently, think sister-in-law has situation weighed up. Annoyed by brother's comments but not wholly unexpected....