They contradict themselves. They want you to make your own choices but then act disappointed. Or you think they are disappointed?

What kind of ways are you trying to please them? Like do nice things for them or make life choices you think they’d like? Also I think sharing is ok and is a bit different than informing of your plans.

I have a daughter and two stepdaughters, all in their 30s. They share things with us and sometimes ask for advice but in general they don’t try to please us with their choices or inform us