darkfeary, I have felt like this. You describe it well. I'm sorry for your pain.

I had a really bad breakdown a few years ago and it has felt like I died then and that I'm just putting in time. But some days are better than others. I take 3 antidepressants, and an antipsychotic and antianxiolytic. I believe my depression (major depression with psychotic features, as well as GAD and OCD) is cyclical, there are times when the clouds break.

I also have someone to talk to (a social worker) which helps.

Come here and post often, come on chat if you need to connect that way. I hope you find support here virtually, as well as actually in your own life.

What treatments have you tried? Do you have someone to talk to?

Right now you're in the tunnel and you don't see any light at the end of it. Stay with us.