I prefer to part on good terms in most circumstances. But I don’t see any need to be friends with ex husbands unless you are raising children together or must remain in each others lives (like if he is a brother of your best friend and you must continue seeing him at events).

I don’t think it’s wrong to help one’s ex or soon to be ex in times of need. I don’t believe though that buying crystals, earrings, restaurant dinners and alcohol and sleeping with you is the kind of help one needs. When he dropped cat food, that was the help I understand. That’s the help friend would provide. I had house robbery years ago and my ex husband sent workers to install a second door with the special lock in my house to prevent that from happening again. There was no manipulation in that. I understand friendly conversation or advice from ex. Things he does are not “friend” actions.