You said your T doesn't know how to proceed with you and that obviously angers you... and that suggests to me that 1) you think she should know the direction - does that mean you do and think it should be obvious to her? 2) you're handing over the power to her completely... making it her responsibility... she's there to work with you, not to choose the issues or direction. If you have directions that need exploring... then say so to her. Like Sky said, what about the things you expressed as serious problems?

i am sorry that you are suffering. There is a loneliness that goes with these stretches in therapy... when you feel your T isn't "with it." It's painful. It likely mirrors similar feelings from childhood.. not getting needs met, etc. If you face unresolved parental issues, and most of us do IMO, then transference will creep into the relationship regardless of the gender of the T... and i personally think it has to for deep change to occur... the form of transference may shift, but there is a reason you were more drawn to working with a female... again, all my own views. BTW... have you told her about your attachment and attraction?

i hope you feel better soon... the life situations you face sound very difficult