I had to go today for a treatment for my anemia. I was sent to get some intravenous iron. They sent me to the Cancer Center for this. I don't have any cancer or anything else that's any big deal. (Just a real slow GI bleed that I'm hopeful will heal.)

This Cancer Center is a beautiful facility. I'm real familiar with it because my boyfriend had lung cancer, and I used to take him there for I/V cancer treatments. Maybe that had something to do with how I feel. I got my treatment and then walked out. In the elevator I fell apart.

I have been sobbing since. I can't even breathe through my nose. And there's like an ammonia smell in my nose from crying so hard. I've adjusted to him being gone. I don't feel like this is grief over him. I feel like this is severe anxiety over being so alone.

Most people go for treatments with someone. I go alone. Thankfully, I'm perfectly fine to go alone. I don't have cancer, like most of the people at this facility. Lucky me. Even if I had family nearby, I wouldn't need anyone to drive me just to get some iron. Still, I got awful sad, sitting in this place getting my treatment. Horribly sad. And very anxious. I better calm down.