Maybe this was all meant to happen this way. Maybe I needed one final time after a long period of separation to reinforce my ultimate decision. And that's exactly what this did. I mean, we barely spoke in the car, while we drove long distances to different shops. We hadn't been together in 4 months, and the only things he could talk about with me are HIS feelings and what HE wants out of this. I tried telling him that I just wanted to be friends. He got silent and sullen, sulking... so then I had to try to cheer HIM up. The silence became deafening.... I cannot talk to him!!!! I clam up around him and am not my true self... I was not happy being with him in the car, riding in silence.

The whole experience was a good reminder for me, and solidified all of my feelings.