(((((SeptemberMorn))))) I know how awful it is to feel this way. I'm so sorry that you're in this place right now. One thing that gives me a sliver of comfort is that this is an element of my disease. When my doctor first told me that, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. I still get the feelings, but in the back of my mind there's a little voice that reminds me that it's part of the disease, there's a chance it won't happen.