Urges, urges, urges. They've been with me for days now. Sometimes they are emotional. Sometimes they are thoughts. I am finally getting kind of spaced out/dissociated though the thoughts persist. But they don't feel as much a part of me. I may still end up self harming. I don't know. Urges are upsetting. Wish I could completely dissociate so I could not have to experience this. It's only been 10 days since I self harmed. Who cares. Maybe I shouldn't even keep track.